Motherhood is all about Trial and Error

Trial and Error

When I was a young child, I always loved taking care of other people’s babies. If there was a baby in the room, I was either oohing and ahhing over the sweet child or I was holding it. There was no doubt that I absolutely loved babies! I played with my baby dolls until I was about 15 or 16! I babysat as much as I could and I volunteered in the nursery or children’s church at our church.

I just felt like I could connect better with babies and children more than I could with people my own age. I felt like I was good with kids and babies and that I knew everything about how to take care of them. I KNEW that I was going to be an awesome Mama someday and I thought that I had everything figured out about motherhood.

Then… guess what happened?

Motherhood slapped me in the face. Click To Tweet

I had my own babies. Things were going smoothly, until my firstborn decided to be unlike any other baby that I have ever taken care of. Don’t get me wrong, he was and still is the sweetest baby in the world. But everything that I did for those babies that I babysat or took care of before… didn’t work on him. I tried them! But they didn’t work.

After my first, I thought that since we finally figured out what worked for him, we would know exactly what to do with our second and that it will be so much easier. Guess what?

Motherhood slapped me in the face AGAIN!

Our second baby is totally different. He requires a totally different care routine and needs a totally different side of my attention.

He’s still a sweet wittle baby! Just extremely different.

So what happened? What’d I do wrong that made them so different?

Absolutely nothing. Every child is just different.

Every child will need a different type of care than the other.

Just because something worked for one child does NOT mean that it will work for the next child or someone else’s child. Everyone gets so caught up in the way “more successful moms”, school systems, and the government do things that they forget that their child is an individual, not a statistic. They think that since the advice that they got from another mom doesn’t work for their child that they’ve “done something wrong”. It’s not that simple.

Every individual is different. Every household is different. Everyone’s schedules or different. And that “general advice” doesn’t always work. If it does, great! But if it doesn’t… don’t think you’re in the wrong. Because you aren’t.

So how exactly can we figure out what works for our child in particular?

Trial and Error.

What is trial and error? It is when you try something and when it doesn’t work out, you learn from it, rule it out as an error, and then try a different approach.

For example, when your child is crying, what is the first thing you go to? Mine is picking that baby up or hugging him/her. When that doesn’t work, I go to food (usually a sugary food, sue me). And when that doesn’t work, I go down the line of my next options and try each one until I get that baby to stop crying. I can NOT stand a baby crying.

When you try something and it doesn’t work, that doesn’t mean that you’ve failed. It just means that you need to do things differently.

How do you know that you’ve hit an error when trying something?

When something isn’t working for your child, you’ll know. You’ll feel it. That motherhood instinct will kick in and work on you! Sometimes, this can happen immediately. Other times it takes awhile to notice. It depends on the circumstances. Either way, you’ll know.

The best way to keep track of when something is working or not is to write it down in a journal. Write down what it is that you’re trying that’s new and then chart the results (behavior, reactions, etc.). I know this can be time consuming, but if you’re really struggling with figuring out how to help your child improve in a certain area, then it’s worth it.

I can share here on this blog everything that works for me, just to give you an idea of what could work for you. But that does NOT guarantee that it will work and that does NOT mean that it’s supposed to work.

It’s all about…

Trial and Error Click To Tweet

Thank you for reading a piece of my heart!
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May God Bless you and all that you endeavor!

Motherhood Trial and Error


  1. Lexie @ | 11th Apr 17

    Yep! You nailed my parenting style and best advice in one post.
    Every baby is different….and then something that works one day just won’t the next! You just have to keep trying.
    Thanks for sharing. 🙂

    • Virtuous Mama | 12th Apr 17

      Yes! I forgot to add that in there. Just because it worked one day, doesn’t mean that it will work the next. Lol! <3
      Thank you for taking time to check it out. <3

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